Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

READING TIME: 2 MINUTES

Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

In this TED talk, Brené Brown, who has been studying vulnerability for the last two decades, teaches us about how to lead a wholehearted and more meaningful life. 

Brown reviewed her research and spent years trying to understand how whole-hearted people, who live from a deep sense of worthiness, were making decisions and what choices they were making in life. “What are we doing with vulnerability? Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability?” Here is what she learned. 

We numb vulnerability — when we’re waiting for the call. It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook that says, “How would you define vulnerability? What makes you feel vulnerable?” And within an hour and a half, I had 150 responses. Because I wanted to know what’s out there. Having to ask my husband for help because I’m sick, and we’re newly married; initiating sex with my husband; initiating sex with my wife; being turned down; asking someone out; waiting for the doctor to call back; getting laid off; laying off people — this is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.

[…]

One of the things that I think we need to think about is why and how we numb. And it doesn’t just have to be addiction. The other thing we do is we make everything that’s uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty. I’m right, you’re wrong. Shut up. That’s it. Just certain. The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today. There’s no discourse anymore. There’s no conversation. There’s just blame. You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort. We perfect. If there’s anyone who wants their life to look like this, it would be me, but it doesn’t work. Because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks. (Laughter) Which just, I hope in 100 years, people will look back and go, “Wow.”

And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children. They’re hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, “Look at her, she’s perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect — make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade.” That’s not our job. Our job is to look and say, “You know what? You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” That’s our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we’ll end the problems I think that we see today. We pretend that what we do doesn’t have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives. We do that corporate — whether it’s a bailout, an oil spill, a recall — we pretend like what we’re doing doesn’t have a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people. We just need you to be authentic and real and say, “We’re sorry. We’ll fix it.”

But there’s another way, and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee — and that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult — to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.”

Still curious and want to learn more? Brown is also the author of several great books including Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.

608 comments

  • I have faced many challenges in my life, particularly financial ones. I have experimented with various jobs / business ventures but none seemed to be successful. As the saying goes, when you exhaust your options, you look for assistance. During my search for self-improvement online, I came across someone sharing their gratitude towards Meduza, the renowned spell caster for helping them win the lottery. Initially, I had my doubts but I felt compelled to give it a shot since my life was falling apart. I contacted him and he agreed to assist me with a prosperity spell. It took almost 3 days for him to complete the spell for me and after two weeks, I found myself among the fortunate winners of $1 MILLION from the Elon Musk give away. At this moment, I want to state that Meduza is the top spell caster and I would appreciate your support in expressing my gratitude to him via his email: lordmeduzatemple@hotmail.com or WhatsApp +1 807 907-2687.

    Kristine Fishell
  • Hello, everyone, my name is Jessey Anthony am from the Australia-Queensland I was so happy to see a testimonial given by someone called Petrov Ganovish about his cheating ex-wife that wanted his father’s money so I have to contact the email of the man that helps him out in exposing her, for him to help me to expose my husband cheating and wrong deals with other women out there i had to contact PROFESSIONAL WIZARD HACKERS to assist me in the job right now, i have complete access to his phone. I got concrete evidence. it was unbelievable to see the evidence of my hubby cheating on me. Who likes to live with a cheater, I used the evidence I got to file for a divorce. I’m thankful to PROFESSIONAL WIZARD HACKERS for helping me out of my dilemma and suspicions. His services are highly rated and affordable he is best and good in his work contact him email: professionalwizardrecovery@programmer.net or professionalwizardrecovery@gmail.com / WhatsApp: +44 7442 684963 Immediately for your areas of Hacking services I have to share the Good news with everyone so u can be able to know the truth of your spouse through mobile spy or phone spy and the offer other services related hacking and funds recovery. Contact him WhatsApp: +44 ( 7442 684963 ) for any type of hacking, he is a professional hacker that specializes in exposing cheating spouses and figure out your relationship status. I wish you the best. Email: professionalwizardrecovery@gmail.com

    Jessey Anthony
  • Hello, everyone, my name is Jessey Anthony am from the Australia-Queensland I was so happy to see a testimonial given by someone called Petrov Ganovish about his cheating ex-wife that wanted his father’s money so I have to contact the email of the man that helps him out in exposing her, for him to help me to expose my husband cheating and wrong deals with other women out there i had to contact PROFESSIONAL WIZARD HACKERS to assist me in the job right now, i have complete access to his phone. I got concrete evidence. it was unbelievable to see the evidence of my hubby cheating on me. Who likes to live with a cheater, I used the evidence I got to file for a divorce. I’m thankful to PROFESSIONAL WIZARD HACKERS for helping me out of my dilemma and suspicions. His services are highly rated and affordable he is best and good in his work contact him email: professionalwizardrecovery@programmer.net or professionalwizardrecovery@gmail.com / WhatsApp: +44 7442 684963 Immediately for your areas of Hacking services I have to share the Good news with everyone so u can be able to know the truth of your spouse through mobile spy or phone spy and the offer other services related hacking and funds recovery. Contact him WhatsApp: +44 ( 7442 684963 ) for any type of hacking, he is a professional hacker that specializes in exposing cheating spouses and figure out your relationship status. I wish you the best. Email: professionalwizardrecovery@gmail.com

    Jessey Anthony
  • TECH CRYPTO RECOVERY is a leading service for those seeking ethical hacking solutions to recover stolen crypto assets like BITCOIN/ETH/USDT and other cryptocurrency.

    In the cybersecurity field, TECH CRYPTO RECOVERY has established a strong reputation by offering crucial assistance to individuals in need. For those who have been victims of theft or other disasters with digital currency, TECH CRYPTO RECOVERY is a trustworthy organization that provides excellent bitcoin recovery services and other cryptocurrency recovery.

    Mail: techcryptorecovery@yahoo.com

    William Patrick
  • I truly hope this message finds you in good spirits.

    I wanted to inform you of some fantastic news today: with the help of SPYHOST CYBER SECURITY COMPANY, I successfully retrieved my lost investment funds valued at $70,000 USD that was taken by scam syndicate called CBEX. It all began earlier last month when I was introduced to this fraudulent company known as CBEX by a close business associate who as well was not aware of this scheme being a scam. I fell for his deceptive promises and invested in the company. Thankfully, with the support of SPYHOST CYBER SECURITY COMPANY, I was able to uncover the scam before it was too late. The Experts successfully secured the funds quickly and effectively, and I am genuinely thankful for their expertise and support. Should you ever encounter or in a similar issue, you might consider reaching out to SPYHOST CYBER SECURITY COMPANY; I wholeheartedly recommend their services. The Expert’s help was essential.

    Email; Spyhost@cyberdude.com

    Brent Jones

Leave a comment